Madder Music; Stronger Wine

Daily musings by a future cat lady

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Just finished breakfast & am lazying about before I get up to do my workout.

Going to the grocery store in a bit to pick up a nice slab of brisket for Easter dinner tomorrow.  I’m having my Mom & siblings over so it should be really good :)

Enjoying my weekend with my honey.  We were going to do laundry this morning but we just couldn’t find the motivation to get out of bed.  So its postponed until tomorrow.  Ha!  I think I might go buy some fresh flowers for the house.  Seems like it would be nice.  I have alot of tidying up to do before company comes over.  Anyways…time to get up…! :)

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“I find suggestion a hell of a lot more provocative than explicit detail. You didn’t see Clark [Gable] and Vivien [Leigh] rolling around in bed in Gone With The Wind, but you saw that shit eating grin on her face the next morning and you knew damned well she’d gotten properly laid.” ― Joan Crawford

(Source: yocalio, via fuckyeahgwtw)

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Yesterday was absolutely draining. Too many things going on at one time. Mercifully, I had my therapy appointment yesterday. So it really helped getting a good cry/good vent with her. She has reminded me that my mantra needs to be “What would be best for me?” Apparently, my tendency of prioritizing others over myself is a bad thing. Lol.

Came home to boyfriend who made me my grilled cheese w/ sautéed mushrooms & spinach + tomato soup. I just veg’d out and watched Bates Motel (major addiction here).

It’s a new day. Feeling a little better. Nothing is impossible. Which…I knew that. Its just the roadblocks are frustrating. But everything will work out in the end. I hope…!

So Im trying to stick with “what would be best for me” right now. And Im trying to use that in several areas of my life-including my old roommate situation. What would be best for me? Not sure yet. But something to think about…

Sometimes I think I share too much online. And other times, I am thankful for having this as an outlet. I guess today is one of those days :)

Midweek and coasting towards Friday…!


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I just need to vent a bit.

I’m feeling so overwhelmed with all of this house buying stuff. This process has been slow, confusing and frustrating. To compound that, we don’t have a real estate agent-which was the dumbest decision ever. And since I’m buying from my Mom, I know I can’t ask her to contribute to closing costs, etc. Well, I could. But she makes less than what I make. It’s just not reasonable. So its all on Roman & I. I thought the finish line was right around the corner, but I just discovered that my homeowners insurance isn’t included in the total deposit we have to make. So this is an extra unanticipated 2k that I don’t have. I feel incredibly unprepared, naïve & am generally upset with myself. I thought I could maybe early withdrawal my retirement but I found out it’s not possible unless I quit my job. Looking into cashing into my 401k next-but I have to wait for paperwork to come in the mail. So who knows how long that will be. I’m not supposed to take out any loans while we are going through this house buying process, so that isn’t an option. I hate this. Roman is talking about selling his tools and speakers and I am so against it. HE already cashed out HIS retirement so I feel very guilty with all the sacrifices he has already made. I feel like I had nothing valuable to really contribute (other than my tax return). And this is my family house! I’m just close to tears. I know, in the end, this will probably get all worked out just fine. I just feel a little helpless right now and decided I’d feel sorry for myself and write on my Tumblr. Blah.

Anyone want to hire me for a 2nd job? Ha. Guess Ill start looking…

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Thanksgiving inspired dinner. Turkey thighs, stuffing & salad. Waiting for Game of Thrones to start!

Thanksgiving inspired dinner. Turkey thighs, stuffing & salad. Waiting for Game of Thrones to start!